137 - Intersectionality and Polyamorous Communities (with therapist Ruby Bouie Johnson)

137 - Intersectionality and Polyamorous Communities (with therapist Ruby Bouie Johnson)

We're very pleased to speak with Ruby Bouie Johnson, sex therapist and founder of PolyDallas Millennium, an annual symposium of presentations and workshops on polyamory with a focus on centering people of color, queer, and gender fluid voices. Ruby shares with us her thoughts on the need for an intersectional focus in poly communities, handling tokenism, and the value that a polyamory- and kink-friendly therapist can bring to a client who may be monogamous or vanilla.

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136 - Healing Old Wounds and Resentment in Relationships

136 - Healing Old Wounds and Resentment in Relationships

Long-term relationships can be fertile ground for wonderful things like deep bonding and silly in-jokes. But they can also come with their fair share of old hurts, repetetive arguments, and growing resentment. If you find your partner holding the past against you, feeling hurt and upset even after you've apologized for something in the past, or if you find yourself resenting your partner in the present for old hurts in the past, then there may be some unhealed wounds in your relationship. In this episode, we cover strategies for both partners to support each other in a journey of healing and acceptance in order to release and heal old wounds. 

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135 - What's Your Apology Language?

135 - What's Your Apology Language?

Our favorite God-doctor Gary Chapman, creator of the 5 Love Languages, has come up with another useful tool for communication: the 5 Apology Languages. Have you ever apologized to your partner for a mistake in the past, only to find that your partner brings it up again a week later, expressing frustration that you never really said you were sorry? What the hell? Was your partner not listening?

It's possible that you and your partner have different apology languages. What felt like a genuine apology to you may have not landed at all with your partner. Tune in to find out more about apology languages and gain some insight for the next time one of you needs to say, "I'm sorry."

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134 - Legal Protections for Polyamorous Families (with lawyer Diana Adams)

134 - Legal Protections for Polyamorous Families (with lawyer Diana Adams)

The Multiamory crew is thrilled to speak with lawyer Diana Adams, who runs a law firm based in New York and Frankfurt that primarily provides family law and mediation services to the LGBTQ community, polyamorous families, same-sex couples, platonic co-parents, and non-nuclear families. In this episode, we got so much helpful information from Diana, including the many kinds of legal agreements available to polyamorous families, actionable steps poly families and parents can take right now to start protecting themselves, and her predictions for how poly marriage rights and poly parenting rights may be changing on the horizon. 

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133 - 6 Questions You Must Ask Your New Partner

133 - 6 Questions You Must Ask Your New Partner

A long list of "glass ceiling questions" has been floating around the polyamorous internet lately. These are questions that are essential to ask a new partner in order to get down to brass tacks on what kind of agreements or rules they have in their other relationships, what they are expecting for their relationship with you, and other nuts-and-bolts questions. In the spirit of efficiency, Multiamory has condensed these questions down to 6 topics to ask about when starting a new relationship. Even better, we made it easy to remember. Just take your date to the M.O.V.I.E.S.! Tune in to find out more.

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132 - The Ethical Slut 20th Anniversary with Janet Hardy

132 - The Ethical Slut 20th Anniversary with Janet Hardy

The Ethical Slut, long considered to be the "Bible" of polyamory and alternative relationships, is celebrating its 20th anniversay with a new, updated edition! The book had an incredible impact on each of our lives, and we are so excited to be speaking to co-author and educator Janet Hardy. Janet shares with us what's new in the updated edition, what she sees for the future of non-monogamous relationships, and her one piece of advice for anyone considering polyamory

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131 - Dumpster Fire Relationships

131 - Dumpster Fire Relationships

The dumpster fire relationship: you know it when you see it. Constant fights, endless drama, and an umatched level of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion. In this episode, we'll discuss signs that your relationship might be a total dumpster fire, how to evaluate whether or not it's time to leave, plus practical advice on escaping a draining relationship with minimal collateral damage

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130 - Emotional Labor

130 - Emotional Labor

This week we're digging in to emotional labor -- the mental and emotional energy required to maintain a relationship. All interpersonal relationships require some sort of emotional labor, so it's not a bad thing. However, problems arise when one person is giving more emotional labor than they are receiving from the other side. This disproportionately tends to happen to women, but it can occur regardless of sex or gender. Tune in to find out the subtle ways that emotional labor can stack, and how to evaluate your relationships for emotional labor balance or imbalance.

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129 - Multiamory Answers Your Questions (Vol. II)

129 - Multiamory Answers Your Questions (Vol. II)

This week we are talking about...you! That's right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. If you want to have a question answered on the air, you too can leave a voicemail for us at 678-MULTI-05.

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128 - How to Support Your Partner Through a Break-Up

128 - How to Support Your Partner Through a Break-Up

Break ups suck. They suck a little less if you're not the one going through it, but if it's your partner who's just been dumped, then you may find yourself shouldering the burden of some of their suck as well. In this episode we talk about the ways to care for your partner, your self, and your relationship when your partner is going through a break-up or other turbulent period of life. 

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127 - Relationship Agreement Pitfalls

127 - Relationship Agreement Pitfalls

This week we're discussing agreement pitfalls -- common relationship agreements that seem reasonable, but which may cause trouble in the long run. The Multiamory crew has a pretty firm stance against strict rules in relationships, but there are many agreements that fall into a debatable grey area. Is it fair to make sure you and your partner conduct relationships in the exact same way? Is it ethical to ask a partner to check in with you before they get sexual on a date with someone else? Tune in to hear our thoughts on these questions and more.

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126 - Building Intimacy with Multiamory

126 - Building Intimacy with Multiamory

This week, the Multiamory crew falls in love with each other! (Just kidding. We were already in love with each other.) But really, we delve into the topic of building intimacy, using the famous list of 36 intimacy questions. We encourage you to use these questions to not only get closer to your romantic partners, but your family and friends as well!

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125 - Researching Non-Monogamous Relationships (with researcher Ryan Witherspoon)

This week the Multiamory crew gets to pick the brain of researcher, educator, and Ph.D candidate Ryan Witherpsoon. Ryan has specialized in studying consensual non-monogamy, kink, and BDSM, as well as spearheading several research studies on non-traditional relationships. In this episode, we cover the current state of non-monogamy research, particular challenges that arise when studying polyamorous relationships, and the findings of his most recent study on stigma toward consensual non-monogamy. 

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124 - The Dating Advice Girl Talks Polyamory

124 - The Dating Advice Girl Talks Polyamory

This week we are welcoming special guest Erin Tillman, a.k.a. The Dating Advice Girl. Erin has coached many singles through the process of creating a dating profile and going on dates without getting burnt out in the process. Even better, Erin is tuned in to the polyamorous and queer communities. She shares with us her pro tips on messaging, first dates, and how much to disclose in your dating profile when you're seeking a non-traditional match (or two). 

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122 - Multiamory Answers Your Questions

122 - Multiamory Answers Your Questions

This week we are talking about...you! That's right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. If you want to have a question answered on the air, you too can leave a voicemail for us at 678-MULTI-05.

Covered in this episode:
-- How can a straight, cisgender man ask for cuddles or affectionate touch without it being interpreted as a come-on?

-- How can I let go of the need to make sure my husband only ever tries new experiences for the first time with me, instead of with other partners?

-- My husband wants our other relationships to be more casual. I want them to be more serious. How do we figure out something that will make both of us happy?

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121 - Social Media and Relationships

121 - Social Media and Relationships

This week, we're talking about the effects of social media on your relationships, and some of the unique challenges presented to non-monogamous relationships. Whether you're creeping on your metamours, or finding yourself nervous about posting openly about your multiple partners, we're here to help you navigate the tricky etiquette and foibles of social media. 

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120 - 7 Strategies for Successful Long-Distance Relationships

120 - 7 Strategies for Successful Long-Distance Relationships

2/3rds of the Multiamory crew is once again heading off for global adventures, which means it's time to talk about long-distance relationships. In this episode, we highlight seven specific strategies that will help your geographically-challenged relationship to flourish and thrive, including tactics for fostering intimacy, communication, and handling the unique challenges presented to multi-partner relationships.

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119 - Asexual Polyamory

119 - Asexual Polyamory

This week the Multiamory crew is happy to talk with The One True Will, former facilitator of the Gracefully Poly Facebook group. Will has identified as both asexual and polyamorous for a number of years, and on this episode he answers all of our n00b questions about the asexuality spectrum, demisexuality, gender dynamics, and...dragons?!?

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118 - Helping Your Partner Open Up

118 - Helping Your Partner Open Up

Whether you're opening up an existing relationship or beginning a relationship with someone who is new to polyamory, it can be challenging to know the best way to encourage them to feel safe venturing into the world of non-monogamy. In this episode we explore different challenges and discuss what we've found to be the most effective strategies and tools for making that experience a positive one...

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