601 - Polyamory as a Political Movement with Dr. Kim TallBear
Kim TallBear (Sisseton-Wahpeton Oyate citizen) is Professor of American Indian Studies at the University of Minnesota, Twin Cities. She is the author of Native American DNA: Tribal Belonging and the False Promise of Genetic Science. In addition to studying genome science disruptions to Indigenous self-definitions, Dr. TallBear studies colonial disruptions to Indigenous sexual relations. She is also a regular media commentator on topics including Indigenous peoples, science, and technology; Indigenous sexualities; and the politics of non-monogamy. You can also follow her Substack newsletter, Unsettle: Indigenous affairs, cultural politics & (de)colonization.
600 - So Your Hinge Sucks at Hinge-ing
We're discussing hinge partners this episode, specifically what to do when a hinge partner is struggling at being a good hinge. We've got some updated research to go over since our last episode about hinges, and we'll have some actionable ways to deal with the frustration of a bad hinge.
599 - What Do I Do When Both My Partners Want Marriage? Listener Q&A
We're tackling another listener question this episode, this time about marriage. What happens when multiple people want to marry you?
If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Supercast community!
598 - Over-Functioning in Relationships: Why Taking On More Makes It Worse
This week we're diving into over-functioning in relationships and how it can actually work against us. We'll be discussing some of the research available about group projects, how anxiety affects negotiation, and how accurately (or inaccurately) we tend to estimate our own contributions to a relationship.
As always, we'll go over some tips and tricks at the end to improve your relationships and work-life balance!
597 - What are Asexuality and Aromanticism (with Patrick Bex)?
We're excited to welcome Patrick Bex to the show this week to talk about asexuality and aromanticism! Patrick is an aroace advocate, content creator, and author best known for his Fluently Aspec social media platforms that educate about aromantic and asexual experiences.
596 - Relationship OCD and Non-monogamy (with Sheva Rajaee MFT)
Today we're diving into the world of OCD, specifically relationship OCD, with Sheva Rajaee.
Sheva is a licensed marriage and family therapist, director of The Center for Anxiety and OCD, and the author of the book Relationship OCD. She is globally recognized for her work treating and addressing chronic doubt, commitment phobia, and anxiety in romantic relationships.
595 - Does My Metamour Owe Me Their STI Results? - Listener Q&A
We've got another Q&A episode this week, and this time we're answering two listener questions about sexual health and STI protocol among non-monogamous partners. Generally speaking, non-monogamous folks have better communication around safer sex and STI risk, but sometimes communication breakdowns happen and that's what we're covering today!
Visit www.multiamory.com/join to become part of our exclusive community if you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode!
594 - Open Up Your Relationship in X Easy Steps
Today we're diving into the internet's favorite genre of relationship advice: open up your relationship in X easy steps! We spent time gathering advice and tips from journalists, therapists, forums, coaches, and Reddit to try to gather some common knowledge and put it together into our own version of a guide to open up a relationship.
593 - The Lost Science of Flirting
Today we're diving into the science of flirting! Nowadays, flirting feels harder than it used to be, and we're going to be bringing some of the research to light about why that is. Flirting isn't a lost art, it's actually an invisible one - we only pick up on someone flirting with us about 28% of the time. We're going to discuss what a "no" looks like, why mirroring and the concept of a gaydar doesn't actually hold up, and what actually DOES help, according to the research.
592 - Intimacy When Sex Is Off the Table - Listener Q&A
Today we're tackling another listener question about intimacy that doesn't involve sex. Whether it's a physical reason or just a desire to be intimate without having sex, we all want to connect this way sometimes. We're going to talk about some techniques from sex therapy, the science of great sex, and why non-sexual touch can be so beneficial.
If you want to have one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Supercast community!
591 - Shift Anxious Attachment with Your Body, Not Your Brain (with Orit Krug)
We're excited to welcome Orit Krug back to the show to talk about anxious attachment from a somatic perspective! We'll be discussing relationship anxiety, the research there is on body-based intervention, and a demo on what addressing these anxieties looks like.
Find more about Orit and her work on her website, follow her on Instagram, access free somatic meditations there, and visit multiamory.com/retreat to learn more about the somatic retreat in Italy that Orit and Dedeker will be co-hosting in September 2026!
590 - Is Non-Monogamy Worth the Struggle?
This week we're hearing from some of our listeners. We recently polled listeners and asked you all to tell us what the hardest, complicated, messy parts of non-monogamy are, as well as the reasons why you wouldn't trade it for anything. We're going to hear from a few listeners about their struggles and joys, and answer the questions ourselves.
589 - This Too Shall Pass: The Science of Acceptance
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Everything ends, from relationships to feelings to situations, to eventually, lives. We often frame this idea as something bad that's better not to think about, but in this episode, we're exploring how learning to accept this impermanence can help us enjoy our lives in the moment more. More importantly, this is a skill we can practice and improve upon. We'll be discussing the research around acceptance of impermanence and talking about how we can strengthen our skills to become better at living in the moment and enjoying our lives, relationships, and experiences.
588 - Bridging Financial Gaps in Polyamory
We're talking about money this week, specifically financial gaps in non-monogamous relationships. Money is one of the most fraught topics in any relationship, and in polyamory things can get even more complex. We're going to be discussing some research about why money creates so much friction in relationships and as always, we'll have some actionable takeaways at the end to help you navigate financial differences in your own relationships.
587 - Discomfort Around Sex: Listener Q&A
We're tackling another listener question this week and talking about discomfort and guilt around sex in non-monogamy. Even those of us who have been non-monogamous for a very long time still experience shame and guilt concerning sex with others sometimes. We'll be discussing some personal anecdotes and ways you can tackle these feelings when they come up.
If you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber!
586 - How to Support Your Partner Through a Breakup
Today we're revisiting a topic we've covered before...supporting a partner through a breakup. We're going to focus on managing your own emotions and feelings during a loss you're not a part of, particularly if you have mixed feelings about the situation. We'll discuss the science of the matter, understanding your partner's grief, giving them practical support, and some actionable ways to take care of yourself during the situation.
585 - The First Study on Relationship Anarchy with Dr. Nicole Thompson
We're excited to welcome Dr. Nicole Thompson onto the show to talk about her research on relationship anarchy!
Dr. Nicole Thompson (she/her) is a queer Sex and Relationship Therapist, researcher, educator, and host of Modern Anarchy podcast. She is the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she provides psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and leads global educational programs on non-monogamy and sexuality. Dr. Nicole published the first research study on Relationship Anarchy and is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide. Her work explores how pleasure, relationships, and community can support both personal and collective liberation.
Find more about her and her work at https://www.modernanarchypodcast.com/.
584 - Buddhist Perspective on Compersion with Dr. Marie Thouin
We're excited to share a discussion between Dedeker and Marie Thouin about compersion from a Buddhist perspective.
Dr. Marie Thouin is a leading expert and scholar on compersion in consensual non-monogamy and beyond. She authored the first-ever scholarly book on compersion, two pioneering research studies, and the first-ever encyclopedia entry on compersion. Her work has been featured in several academic conferences, workshops, magazines, and podcasts.
Marie is also a mindful dating & relationship coach who supports people of all ages, genders, and sexual/relationship orientations to create vibrant and intentional love lives—including folks navigating non-monogamy and/or non-traditional relationship structures.
583 - Is It a "Me" Problem or a "We" Problem? How to Know What to Bring to Your Partner
Today we're tackling another listener question from one of our Supercast subscribers!
How do you discern what's a "you" problem versus a problem you should bring up with a partner? We're going to talk about the research on self-disclosure as well as some frameworks and tools to help you tell the difference.
If you want a question of yours answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming part of our Supercast community at www.multiamory.com/join.
582 - Long Distance Relationships: Are They Worth It?
Today we're diving into the topic of long distance relationships! Are they worth having? What does the research say? We'll be discussing all of this and sharing some ways to evaluate whether or not a long distance relationship is best for you. We'll also be going into what makes them so hard, some specific non-monogamous pitfalls, and what makes them actually work better than some people expect.