Anger is usually viewed as bad or something that should be stifled from a very young age. However, anger can be a force for good too! A lot of folks tend to repress their anger or express it in unhealthy ways. In this episode, we cover how to use your anger in a more positive and constructive way in your relationships. We share some of the ways we've expressed and handled anger in the past and provide ways to use it for the better.Read More
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Conflict and disagreements are unavoidable in relationships, but they don't have to cause pain, negativity, or destruction. In this episode we cover a collection of tools to use before, after, and during fights you have with your partner in order to find constructive resolution and reconection.Read More
The Multiamory crew is in Tokyo! In this very special live episode recorded at Good Heavens British Pub in Setagaya, we discuss how increasing your cultural intelligence can boost your understanding and communication, particularly when dating someone from a very different culture.Read More
This week we're digging in to emotional labor -- the mental and emotional energy required to maintain a relationship. All interpersonal relationships require some sort of emotional labor, so it's not a bad thing. However, problems arise when one person is giving more emotional labor than they are receiving from the other side. This disproportionately tends to happen to women, but it can occur regardless of sex or gender. Tune in to find out the subtle ways that emotional labor can stack, and how to evaluate your relationships for emotional labor balance or imbalance.Read More
Love and science finally hook up. The results? Sexy. This week we're covering all the things that will make your relationships better, backed by scientific studies. We cover communication, fighting, sex, in-jokes, and more!Read More
This week's episode was recorded during Multiamory's very first stop on their West Coast Tour 2017! Every seat in the house at Octopus Literary Salon in Oakland, California was full as we presented a talk on the 7 habits of highly effective polyamorous people. Drawing inspiration from our mentors and role models, we break down the key qualities found in the happiest and healthiest non-traditional relationships.Read More
This week we are very pleased to speak with Eri Kardos, international speaker, coach, and author of the newly released book Relationship Agreements. Eri takes us through the basic philosophy of using agreements to strengthen your relationships, whether you are polyamorous or monogamous. We also learn how a small, blue, furry monster named Fred can help change the way you think about your romantic relationships.Read More
If you've ever been in a relationship with a human being, chances are you've encountered some emotions within yourself and the other person. Until the day we are dating Vulcans or robots, our relationships will continue to be sticky, emotional, and not always rational. But all is not lost -- a healthy dose of emotional responsibility can go far! In this episode we deconstruct exactly what emotional responsibility is, and how it can bring clarity and calm to moments of conflict. We explore what it looks like if there's not enough emotional responsibility in a relationship, as well as what it may look like if there's too much!
This week we are discussing a unique communication system to try out in your relationships: agile scrum. The agile scrum system was originally developed to be applied to software development, but writer Alanna Krause adapted the system to become a new system for communication in her relationship. The Multiamory crew tested out holding monthly scrum meetings with our partners, and today we're going to tell you all about the results!Read More
Most of us enjoy feeling special, particularly to our romantic partners. In traditional relationships, one's specialness is closely linked to exclusivity. You are the person I choose to be monogamous with, therefore you are #1 special person in my life! But when you have multiple partners, this thinking gets turned on its head. This week we discuss how to maintain a sense of specialness in each of your relationships.Read More
It's dangerous to go alone...take this! It's the Triforce of Communication!
What is that, you ask? The Triforce of Communication, other than being a nerdy title, are the three primary goals of communication in any given conversation or interaction with a partner. Communication breakdowns often occur when you and your partner have mismatched goals. If your partner thinks you are seeking support or acknowledgment when you are actually seeking problem-solving advice, disappointment and frustration can show up faster than you know it. In this episode, we talk about these three different goals, and how you can use the knowledge of these goals to make your communication more effective.
Your love language is the way in which you express love and prefer to receive love from your partners. Each person has a unique combination of love languages, some stronger than others. You may not realize it, but you and your partner may be speaking different love languages, which can lead to confusion and frustration. If you can determine your love language, as well as that of your partner(s), it can open up a whole new world of effortless communication and intimacy. In this episode, we cover the 5 most common love languages, as well as discuss how knowing about love languages can change your approach to multiple partners.
If you want to take a handy quiz to find your love language, you can find that here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
If you've read much about polyamory you've definitely come across the term "compersion." The word was created in the early 90's to fill a gap in the english language and it means the feeling of joy and happiness you have at experiencing another person's joy and happiness. This is an important feeling to cultivate in open relationships because it will make you a better partner and will make you feel happier. But how do you actually do that?Read More
At Multiamory, we encourage people to avoid making strict rules when opening up their relationship. However, what about agreements? What about setting boundaries? Are those the same thing as rules? Rules, agreements, and boundaries are all frameworks that can be used to protect yourself within a relationship, but there are subtle differences. On this episode we walk you through these differences, and in particular we focus on setting up healthy and effective boundaries for yourself that do not impose rules on your partners or your partners' relationships.Read More
This week, the Multiamory crew addresses question we get from our listeners all the time: how do I broach the subject of opening up my relationship? If you’re currently in a monogamous relationship, and you’re curious about opening it up, even the thought of suggesting it to your significant other may be unnerving.
In this episode, we give you specific strategies for bringing up the conversation and taking your first steps together toward opening your relationship. We’ll give you tactics to approach this talk in a way that’s unthreatening, collaborative, and will ideally be as comfortable as possible for both of you.Read More
Are some people purely polyamorous and other people are completely monogamous? How can we reconcile these differences? What should I do about jealousy? What kind of polyamorous relationship is right for me?
In our interview with counselor, hypnotherapist, and author Kathy Labriola we get to hear her insights into all of this and more! Some of the topics we cover in this episode...Read More
Coming out of the closet about your non-traditional relationships can be excited, nerve-wracking, or downright terrifying, especially when coming out to your parents. We share stories of our coming out conversations with our parents, and examine how coming out affected our relationships long-term. Whether you need to come out to your parents or someone else important in your life, we give you three important things to keep in mind when heading into this potentially daunting conversation.Read More
Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk all the good things and the bad things that may be...
When you talk about sex with your partners!
How do you talk to your partner about the sex you're having with other people? How much should you share and how much should...