Today, we're discussing why we struggle to put the communication and relationship lessons we learn into practice. Current generations are more therapy-literate than ever, but that doesn't mean our relationships are healthier. What happens when everyone knows the psychological buzzwords but hasn't done the deeper work of integration and change? We're diving into the reasons why learning how to do relationships better isn’t always enough, talk about the research available on the topic, and of course, finally give you some practical tools to bridge the gap between insight and real change.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

This week we have a throwback episode going back six years ago to when we discussed three powerful communication tools to strengthen your relationships: switchtracking, bids, and microscripts. We're going to explore each of these concepts, provide examples of each, and talk about some practical and actionable tips to help you use them to foster better communication in your relationships.

Today we're talking about love languages, and taking a critical look at them to discuss whether or not they're actually as important as we make them out to be. We're going to go over some of the key assumptions behind the love languages and of course, look at what the research has to say. And finally, we discuss both the potential benefits and the possible pitfalls of relying too heavily on the love languages as a framework.

This week we're taking some time to explore what happens when life's demands and outside stressors take a toll on even solid relationships. Things like busy schedules, financial woes, health issues, or other obligations can absolutely limit the time and energy you have for a relationship. We’ll be discussing strategies for collaborating through life’s ups and downs, keeping communication strong, getting creative with quality time, and more in today's episode.

Today we're talking about the five different communication styles in order to help us identify some of the healthy and unhealthy ways we might be expressing ourselves. If we can learn to assert ourselves in a healthy, respectful way, it can improve the quality of our relationships, along with overall wellbeing and happiness. We'll go over some tools and techniques we can use to start improving our quality of communication.

On today's episode, we're talking about honesty...honestly. Many of us are taught from childhood that honesty is the best policy, but is it really? We'll be talking about radical honesty, selfish honesty, when "just being honest" might mean "just being a jerk," and, as always, we'll be sharing one of our communication tools at the end of the episode to help you approach honesty in the most informed, nuanced way possible.

We're back with another Q&A episode to answer some more listener questions! Today we're discussing open, honest conversations with non-romantic connections, feeling undesirable, romantic repulsion following multiple breakups/de-escalations, how to be a good hinge partner when starting new relationships, and more!

If you'd like to submit a question for our next Q&A episode, consider becoming a Patreon supporter and posting in our private community!

Today's episode we're revisiting difficult conversations. In any relationship, there are often hard, emotional, or awkward conversations that we tend to avoid. Whether we're working through a conflict, setting boundaries, making a request, disclosing information, tackling a taboo topic, etc., it helps to understand why we have inhibitions when it comes to these discussions. We're going to talk today about the maladaptive ways we might try to get out of conversations we deem uncomfortable and some better ways to tackle them instead!

We're having our first Q&A episode in the new year with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova! During this episode, we learn a little about Dr. Zhana's work and answer some questions posed by our Patreon supporters.

Dr. Zhana Vrangalova is a relationship scientist, consultant, and NYU adjunct professor of human sexuality. She’s a world-renowned expert in nonmonogamy and the creator of Open Smarter™, an online course that guides couples and individuals to identify and navigate the relationship type best suited for their unique personality and life circumstances.

She holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Cornell University, and her scholarly work on nontraditional relationship styles has been published in several peer-reviewed journals.

Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @drzhana, and join her FREE Training on Open Relationships to discover your ideal relationship style.

This week we're looking at conflict in relationships, what you can do to make sure conflict isn't negatively affecting your relationship, some research on it and some ways we can apply these lessons to our everyday lives, whether that's in a romantic relationship or another type of relationship. We'll be looking at some common patterns of unhealthy conflict, some specific research studies on it, and some actionable takeaways to improve how we can do better when engaging in conflict.

For those of us with multiple partners, sometimes the idea of navigating a social situation including everyone can be stressful or intimidating. This week, we're talking about some ways to minimize this anxiety as a hinge partner in social situations.

This week we're discussing transforming feelings into words effectively, which is the basis of most talk therapy and is often fundamental in having successful relationships. We're going over why it can be difficult to put this into practice, as well as some techniques to help next time you're struggling to put your feelings into words.

This week's episode is all about relationship maintenance, or what we can do to ensure our relationships are as positive and fulfilling as possible for everyone involved. We're going to discuss this, as well as what kinds of maintenance are best to do, in this episode.

What do you struggle with in your relationships? What is your greatest strength? Inspired by some questions our friend and author Kevin Patterson asked, we're exploring why it's important for us to be familiar with each other's strengths and weaknesses in relationships, and identifying them, both in ourselves and in our partners.

How do you process your feelings? Are you an internal processor (chewer)? Or an external one (spewer)? In this episode, we're covering what it means to be a chewer or a spewer, some drawbacks to both, and some positive aspects to them.

Do you and your partner or partners have regular date nights worked into your routine? We're going to explore why it's important to take time to schedule dates with partners to maintain a healthy connection, and some statistics on relationship success rates for couples who take the time to have regular dates.

In the spirit of refreshing and revisiting older concepts, this week we're talking about five different methods to communicate more effectively, both in your romantic relationships and everyday platonic ones.

This week, we're revisiting the five love languages, and discussing how they play a role in your interactions with others. We're going to go into a little more detail about each love language and how to navigate your relationships when your love languages don't necessarily mesh together.

Let's explore feelings of guilt in relationships on multiple levels, when guilt can be a healthy thing to feel, and when it can be detrimental to both a relationship and mental health.

We're joined today by Kathy Labriola, author of The Polyamory Breakup Book! We're discussing how to healthily navigate breaking up when in a polyamorous relationship, and some of the unique challenges that polyamorous couples face when it's time to end things.