We're revisiting agreements, but this time with ourselves, not others. We're going to be talking about agreements, self agreements, how they differ from boundaries, and ways to generate self agreements so that you can start exploring what you expect from yourself in relationships versus what you expect from others.

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This week we're highlighting an interview Dedeker did on Rachel Krantz's show, Help Existing. Rachel is also the author of Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy. Rachel and Dedeker have a great conversation about boundaries, covering topics like, How do you figure out what your boundaries are? How should you go about communicating boundaries in a way that is both firm and compassionate? How can you remain flexible and open to change without having porous boundaries? Do the same strategies apply to both familial and romantic relationships?

Make sure you check out more of Rachel's show!

This week we're circling back to boundaries once again! In light of our book release, we're going to be sharing one of the special tools from it that we've come up with to enforce boundaries. But first, we'll go over what boundaries are, our take on what the difference between boundaries/rules/agreements, and talk about why we need boundaries in our lives.

For more episodes about boundaries, revisit episodes 178: The Basics of Boundaries, 227: Rules and Agreements ft. Boundaries, and 372: Needs, Desires, Boundaries, and More.

Today's episode is another Q&A where we answer some more listener questions, including some about beginners in polyamory, setting healthy boundaries, and ethical hierarchy.

This week, we're discussing the differences between needs, wants, expectations, boundaries, rules, agreements, and how these terms tend to be often used interchangeably, as well as how these terms affect our communication in relationships.

This week we're joined with Martha Kauppi to talk about her book, as well as discussing how therapists can best serve their non-monogamous clients, some of the most important tools that help make polyamorous relationships thrive, and what to look for if you are seeking a therapist for yourself or your relationship.
Martha Kauppi is a therapist, author, speaker, and educator specializing in complex relational therapy, sex issues, and alternative family structures. She trains therapists all over the world to work more effectively with a broad range of sex issues, and with clients who are in open relationships. She is the author of Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients).

This week's guest is Erin Tillman, aka "The Dating Advice Girl," who has joined us to talk about health checkups in relationships and to give her valuable perspective on relationship health and wellness.

This is a big question that comes up in non-monogamy, especially when it comes to talking about other partners to one another. So what is the difference between privacy and secrecy. Is there really anything that we should be hiding from our partner? What about power dynamics. Who decides what should be private and what shouldn’t be? What is mine to share? We talk about mental health, STI status, personal boundaries and other relationship dynamics where these questions come into consideration.

Boundaries are one of the most powerful yet misunderstood tools for having healthy relationships.

Activist Kitty Stryker shares with us how consent and consent violations affect our lives outside of the bedroom.

What makes an expectation healthy or unhealthy? Plus, how to let of expectations that may be mismatched with your partner's.

Multiamory loves The Beatles, but we take issue with the assertion that love is all you need. In this episode, we discuss the dangers of what is traditionally "magical" thinking surrounding love and relationships. If you're in a relationship that is dysfunctional, codependent, or making you miserable all in the name of love, here's where you can learn valuable tools to evaluate whether your relationship has a leg to stand on, or if it may be time to leave. 

Long-term relationships can be fertile ground for wonderful things like deep bonding and silly in-jokes. But they can also come with their fair share of old hurts, repetetive arguments, and growing resentment. If you find your partner holding the past against you, feeling hurt and upset even after you've apologized for something in the past, or if you find yourself resenting your partner in the present for old hurts in the past, then there may be some unhealed wounds in your relationship. In this episode, we cover strategies for both partners to support each other in a journey of healing and acceptance in order to release and heal old wounds. 

This week we're discussing agreement pitfalls -- common relationship agreements that seem reasonable, but which may cause trouble in the long run. The Multiamory crew has a pretty firm stance against strict rules in relationships, but there are many agreements that fall into a debatable grey area. Is it fair to make sure you and your partner conduct relationships in the exact same way? Is it ethical to ask a partner to check in with you before they get sexual on a date with someone else? Tune in to hear our thoughts on these questions and more.