597 - What are Asexuality and Aromanticism (with Patrick Bex)?
Welcome, Patrick!
We’re so excited to welcome Patrick Bex to the show this week to discuss asexuality and aromanticism. Patrick is an aroace advocate, content creator, and author best known for his Fluently Aspec social media platforms that educate about aromantic and asexual experiences.
Patrick tackles these topics and questions during this episode:
What is the number one thing that you think most people get wrong about aromanticism and asexuality?
Can you talk to us a little bit about your journey to discovering your identity? What was it that helped you the most with accepting your identity?
Can you define asexuality, aromanticism, and aroace for us?
What is something you wish more people knew about aromantic or asexual experiences?
How would an aro person define romance? Are they more indifferent to romance or actively avoiding it?
How does an asexual and/or aromantic relationship with a person who you feel attracted to, differ from deep friendship?
From a listener: Do you experience feelings toward others differently from the way you experience feelings toward yourself? In other words, can you still experience romantic or sexual feelings independently of another person, or are those feelings specifically connected to attraction toward others? Also, does your experience of asexuality or aromanticism fluctuate over time, or do you feel that it is a consistent part of your identity and orientation?
Do you think it’s possible for asexual or aromantic folks to still have strong relationships?
What are some good questions to ask of a prospective partner who identifies as aro and/or ace to help one understand where they are coming from?
How do you navigate the internal expectations that people have around sex and things like the relationship escalator while also learning to be communicative and foster intimate connections?
From a listener: Can you please recommend methods to balance out the mismatch of interest between partners? And do you have any advice for someone interested in reconnecting with lost, or maybe repressed, sexual interest?
From a listener: Do you have suggestions for building intimacy, emotional and physical, in a romantic relationship with someone with lower romance and sex drives. I know a lot of this is going to be individual, my aero/ace partner wants intimacy and doesn't have many ideas on how to foster it, but is good at saying that felt good, this did not. So maybe just some examples of ways to do that, that are not highly focused on sexualizing or romanticizing but still loving a person.
From a listener: I'm curious about whatever thoughts you want to share about aromantic allosexuality, as it's otherwise been such a rarity in experiences I've seen that I frankly don't even know where to start.
Find more from Patrick on his website, Fluently Aspec, check out the merch he designs here, and find him on YouTube, Instagram, Twitch, and TikTok at @fluentlyaspec!