Today we're discussing cognitive reappraisal, or the notion of thinking your way out of a negative emotional response to a given situation. We'll be going over research available on cognitive reappraisal, what it looks like in real life, and whether or not it's just gaslighting yourself into feeling like your relationship is better than it actually is.

Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.

Nobody LIKES feeling uncomfortable...but today we're going to be looking at a few ways we sometimes avoid discomfort that may be making the problem worse instead of better. We're taking a good hard look at the emotions a lot of us prefer to avoid, how distractions and quick fixes aren't the best things to do all the time, and explore some techniques for reclaiming your ability to feel your emotions and improve your relationships.

Today, we're talking about regret. Regret often gets a lot of negative feedback and a bad rap, often being called a useless negative emotion, but we're going to dive into some of the psychology research that indicates how regret can help us gain insight, motivation, and direction. We'll be discussing different types of regret, how regret can influence our relationship choices, and how to use regret to make positive changes in our lives.

Today we're discussing emotional safety and how our close relationships can provide a safe and comforting way to enhance our positive emotions and regulate our negative ones. Unfortunately, many relationships are lacking the feeling of safety and support necessary to facilitate honest emotional expression. We are going to look at a couple recent research questionnaires that set out to measure these qualities of our relationships and see how we can use them to improve our own romantic and platonic relationships.

Everyone in a consensually non-monogamous relationship gets asked the question, "How do you deal with the jealousy?" Even people who have practiced non-monogamy for years or who never expected to experience jealousy do experience it, so it's worth building a toolkit for yourself to break into when you need it. In today's episode we're discussing it by going over 26 different tools that can be used to help us handle jealousy when it comes up (and it will come up!). Stay tuned for next week when we'll go over the remaining 24!

What is expressive suppression? How can it impact and impair our day to day lives? In this episode, we're discussing expressive suppression, its advantages, disadvantages, the psychology behind it, and how to address expressive suppression when it may be doing more harm than good.

This week's episode is tackling resentment: what it is, how it shows up in real life, what might trigger it, some research surrounding resentment and its psychology, and finally, some ways to tackle resentment in your life.

This week we're discussing transforming feelings into words effectively, which is the basis of most talk therapy and is often fundamental in having successful relationships. We're going over why it can be difficult to put this into practice, as well as some techniques to help next time you're struggling to put your feelings into words.

What is forgiveness really all about? Some see it as healing and restorative, and others view it as harmful and invalidating. This episode is covering some of the studies that have been done about forgiveness while we look at its benefits and potential pitfalls.

This episode is about identity. Listen to hear our discussion about all of the research surrounding identity, relationships, and how one can influence and affect the other. Additionally, we're going to go over some tips about how to retain your identity when dating.

This episode is a discussion on internal and external validation, what those terms mean, how they're both important to a healthy relationship and life, and how you can work to have a better balance of both.

This week is all about philosophy! We're talking about Stoicism, some common issues people face in relationships, how looking at those issues from a bird's eye view can help us deal with them more objectively, and some caveats of Stoicism to make sure everyone gets a fair look at it.

Part of being a human is learning how to recalibrate your mind when transitioning from one situation to another. This can be especially difficult for polyamorous people changing from one partner to another, so this episode helps outline some ways to make the switch mentally when engaging in different tasks or social situations.

This week is part 2 of our series on shame, which covers shame specifically around nontraditional and polyamorous relationships, healthy vs. unhealthy shame (not to be confused with healthy shaming), and countershaming.

This week we're kicking off a two-part series on shame in relationships: where it comes from, why we feel it, how it can affect our relationships (especially nontraditional ones), and ways to deal with feeling it to counteract its effects.

We’re exploring the often misunderstood statement of “feelings are not facts.” We also delve into some research about emotions…

If you've ever been in a relationship with a human being, chances are you've encountered some emotions within yourself and the other person. Until the day we are dating Vulcans or robots, our relationships will continue to be sticky, emotional, and not always rational. But all is not lost -- a healthy dose of emotional responsibility can go far! In this episode we deconstruct exactly what emotional responsibility is, and how it can bring clarity and calm to moments of conflict. We explore what it looks like if there's not enough emotional responsibility in a relationship, as well as what it may look like if there's too much! 
 

Only 1/3 of the Multiamory crew identifies as male, but social expectations of masculinity have had an influence on all of us. This week we're digging in to the fundamentals of masculinity. What does it mean to "be a man"? What are the classic hallmarks of masculinity, and how are those expectations both hurting and helping us? What's more, we discuss how traditional notions of masculinity sometimes clash with the ideals of polyamory.