We're covering the topic of loneliness in today's episode. In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a public health crisis, and the physical health risks associated with loneliness are indeed staggering. We're going to dive into why loneliness seems to be at an all time high, pick apart some nuance regarding gender, age, and loneliness, and in the third part of the episode, go over some actionable tools on how to tackle loneliness. We'll talk about rewiring the brain, cultivating solitude, and how to become a social architect.

Sources and news articles referenced in this episode can be found here:

U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on Loneliness and Isolation (2023)

https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf

Pew Research Center: "Men, Women and Social Connections" (January 2025)

https://www.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/20/2025/01/ST_2024.1.16_social-connections_REPORT.pdf

Mindfulness training reduces loneliness and increases social contact in a randomized controlled trial

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1813588116

CDC: "Social Connection and Mental Health..." (Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, 2022 data)

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/73/wr/mm7324a1.htm

AIBM: "Male Loneliness and Isolation: What the Data Shows"

https://aibm.org/research/male-loneliness-and-isolation-what-the-data-shows/

Psypost: "Massive meta-analysis finds loneliness has increased in emerging adults in the last 43 years" (Report on Buecker et al. study, 1976-2019)

https://www.psypost.org/massive-meta-analysis-finds-loneliness-has-increased-in-emerging-adults-in-the-last-43-years/

University of Michigan: "Loneliness and isolation back to pre-pandemic levels, but still high for older adults" (National Poll on Healthy Aging)

https://ihpi.umich.edu/news-events/news/loneliness-and-isolation-back-pre-pandemic-levels-still-high-older-adults

ResearchGate: "Gender Differences in Loneliness" (Borys & Perlman, 1985 study)

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258180577_Gender_Differences_in_Loneliness

European Association of Personality Psychology: "Gender differences in loneliness across the lifespan: A meta-analysis"

https://www.earaonline.org/gender-differences-in-loneliness-across-the-lifespan-a-meta-analysis/

Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health: "Loneliness is hurting our health, but these policies could help"

https://hsph.harvard.edu/news/loneliness-is-hurting-our-health-but-these-policies-could-help/

Our World in Data: "Social connections and loneliness"

https://ourworldindata.org/social-connections-and-loneliness

JEC Senate Report: "All the Lonely Americans"

https://www.jec.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/republicans/2018/8/all-the-lonely-americans

Aspen Valley Hospital: "Loneliness in Men"

https://aspenvalleyhealth.org/healthy-journey/loneliness-in-men/

Stanford Clayman Institute for Gender Research: "Men's loneliness is a feminist issue"

https://gender.stanford.edu/news/mens-loneliness-feminist-issue-men-without-men

Psychology Today: "The Practice That Can Ease Loneliness"

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-influence/202202/the-practice-can-ease-loneliness

Congress for the New Urbanism: "Fighting loneliness through community design"

https://www.cnu.org/publicsquare/2024/01/04/fighting-loneliness-through-community-design

Campaign to End Loneliness: "Tackling loneliness through the built environment"

https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/wp-content/uploads/CEL-Tackling-loneliness-through-the-built-environment-Final.pdf

American Psychiatric Association: "New APA Poll: One in Three Americans Feels Lonely..." (Mentions 5-for-5 Challenge)

https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/how-to-reduce-loneliness

We're back with another Q&A episode! Today we're answering some questions from our Supercast subscribers about organizing local polyamory meetups, how to handle guilt you feel even when a partner is telling you not to feel guilty, and strategies to deal with missing a partner you don't live with.

If you want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/join to become one of our Supercast subscribers!

Today we're joined by Jaime Gama of the popular Instagram account Gotitas de Poliamor. We'll be discussing non-monogamy, identity, community, and much more with him.

Jaime is a psychologist with a master's in Gestalt psychotherapy who specializes in ethical relationships, both monogamous and non-monogamous. He uses his account to share his experience and journey deconstructing the ways he connects with his partners. At the moment he offers webinars, on-line sessions and is working on writing his first book. Find more about Jaime at www.gotitasdepoliamor.com, or follow him on Instagram @gotitasdepoliamor.

Glen Olson and Terry Lee Brussels, authors of the book "Fifty Years of Polyamory in America: A Guided Tour of a Growing Movement," join us for a deep discussion about their book, the history of polyamory, influences from literature and the idea of a utopian society, and more.

Glen Olson is an author and historian of polyamory communities in America. He is a retired fire captain, paramedic, and technical writer. Over the years he has made presentations to colleges and science fiction conventions on the subject of open relationships and polyamory. Find more about Glen at glenolson.org.

Terry Lee Brussel-Rogers is an author and hypnotherapist, helping clients with everything from intimacy without jealousy to spiritual growth and poly relationship coaching. Terry co-founded Live the Dream, an education and support group for people interested in alternative lifestyles, cooperative living, open relationships and group marriage.

Today we're interviewing William Winters, who is on the board of directors for OPEN (Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy). William Winters is a seasoned digital campaign strategist for progressive organizations and causes, and a leader in the Bay Area’s polyamorous and sex-positive communities. He is also the founder of Bonobo Network, a sex-positive, consent-focused, power-aware community, and the founder of Express Yourself, a quarterly gathering uniting people of color in celebrations of the erotic. He has been featured in the New York Times and the San Francisco Chronicle.

Crystal Byrd Farmer, a polyamorous writer and speaker from North Carolina. She is the website editor for Black & Poly and a board member for the Foundation of Intentional Communities. This week, she's joining us to talk about her book The Token: Common Sense Ideas for Increasing Diversity in Your Organization and to allow us to pick her brain about diversity, tokenism, relationships, and more.

This week we're coming at ya live from our first ever patreon retreat in Lake Tahoe, CA!

We're very pleased to speak with Ruby Bouie Johnson, sex therapist and founder of PolyDallas Millennium, an annual symposium of presentations and workshops on polyamory with a focus on centering people of color, queer, and gender fluid voices. Ruby shares with us her thoughts on the need for an intersectional focus in poly communities, handling tokenism, and the value that a polyamory- and kink-friendly therapist can bring to a client who may be monogamous or vanilla.

Have you ever felt alone on your poly journey? Do your friends or family immediately jump to blaming polyamory for any relationship problems you may have? We've definitely all encountered this and have wished for a better support network.

This week, the Multiamory crew is pissed off. The current political climate has inspired us to vent about a number of topical things that get under our skin: toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, the alt right, and more. In particular, we examine how the polyamorous community is not immune to these things, as well as addressing what steps everyone can take to turn things around.