The Beginner's Guide
If you're new to polyamory, you might be feeling overwhelmed, but don't worry! We want to make your journey into non-monogamy as simple as possible, which is why we created The Beginner's Guide. Here you'll find a selection of podcast episodes, blog posts, and video content specifically chosen to help you get started. If you're interested in getting personalized help understanding polyamory or opening up your relationship, check out our coaching services.
The super basics: what polyamory is and isn't, some simple terminology, and the most important things to know before heading into a non-monogamous relationship.
- What Is Polyamory? in 60 seconds (Multiamory Minute)
- 7 Habits of Highly Effective Poly Relationships (Blog)
- 7 Habits of Highly Effective Poly People (Live Podcast)
- 5 Mistakes Poly Noobs Make (Podcast)
- 8 Myths About Polyamory Busted! (Podcast)
- Poly Relationship Shapes in 60 seconds (Multiamory Minute)
Jealousy comes up in every relationship, whether monogamous, polyamorous, or in between. Here you'll find tactics for not only understanding jealousy, but also harnessing it to increase your self-awareness and using it as an opportunity to increase intimacy in your relationships.
Alternative relationships aren't all about sex, but it might be the part that's the most fun to talk about! Below is info on how to communicate with your partners about safe sex, kinks, fantasies, and more.
- Making Safe Sex More Sexy (Podcast)
- Sex Positivity, Sex Negativity, Sex Neutrality (Podcast)
- All About Consent with Sex Nerd Sandra (Podcast)
- Let's Talk About Sex, Baby (Podcast)
- Won't You Take Me to Kinky Town? (Podcast)
If you're polyamorous, it can be tricky to find other like-minded people who might be interested in dating you. Here you'll find important information when seeking non-monogamous partners both online and in real life.
- Zen and the Art of First Dates (Podcast)
- The Dating Advice Girl Talks Polyamory (Podcast)
- How to Find Polyamorous Partners Offline (Podcast)
- Cross-poly-nation: Dating Within Your Inner Circle (Podcast)
Triads and Threesomes
Many people think of 3-person relationships when they think of polyamory. Though group relationships are not necessarily the norm in the poly community, they are a possibility. Here are some things to consider if you are interested in being in a triad relationship.
Communication is a must in any relationship, and even more so in an open relationship. It can really make or break your connection to your partners, so it's important to get your communication skills top notch.
- 5 Ways to Suck Less at Communication (Podcast)
- 5 Ways to Suck Less at Communication (PDF)
- Relationship Scrum aka Monthly Check-in (Podcast)
- How to Talk to Your Partner about Polyamory (Podcast)
- The Triforce of Communication (Podcast)
- The Triforce of Communication (Blog)
- Multiple Love Languages, Multiple Lovers (Podcast)
Rules and Agreements
If you're opening up a currently closed relationship, it can be very tempting to create a long list of rules for keeping your partner in line. These rules tend to be strict, inflexible, and primarily made to avoid having to feel hurt or jealous. We generally discourage making rules, and instead prefer in-depth discussions with your partners to find out ways each of you can get your needs met without having to lay down the law.
- Relationship Agreement Pitfalls (Podcast)
- Rules are Made to be Broken (Podcast)
- Open Relationship Rule, Agreements, and Boundaries (Podcast)
- Relationship Agreements with Eri Kardos (Podcast)
Emotionally intimate relationships tend to be, well, emotional! Many people in polyamorous relationships can be swept off their feet by new relationship energy or surprised by feeling warm and fuzzy compersion. Have no idea what we're talking about? You can learn al about it below!
- Emotional Responsibility aka Owning Your Shit (Podcast)
- Your Brain on (love) Drugs (Podcast)
- Compersion in 60 seconds (Multiamory Minute)
- Compersion: When My Husband's Attraction to Other Women Turns Me On (Blog)
One of the most popular questions we're asked is how to manage open relationships and raising kids at the same time. Research has shown that growing up in a polyamorous household is not detrimental to kids. However, it's still important to make decisions about what kind of information to communicate to your kids (and possibly your in-laws).
For a fun, informative, and thorough guide to the ins and outs of polyamory, check out Dedeker's book The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory, available in paperback and on kindle.
For a brief and concise summary of polyamory and a great book to give to your family members who are confused or worried about polyamory, check out Dr. Elisabeth Sheff's book When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous.