463 - You're Not as Open-Minded As You Think

Today we're talking about being open-minded: what it means, how it's often misunderstood, and how we're probably not as good at it as we think we are. Typically people think of open-mindedness as a good thing, especially among younger folks, but it's hard to research it, given how difficult it is to objectively measure. We'll be going over some of the research that has been done on open-mindedness, as well as some actionable tips about how to actually be more open-minded in everyday life.

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461 - My Partner Won’t Admit Their Jealousy - Listener Q&A

Today we have another Q&A episode, so we're diving into some listener questions. Some of the topics we're covering are what happens when just one relationship in a triad has to end, how to support a long distance partner, how to build confidence when you’ve been a “late bloomer” regarding sex and relationships, and what to do when a partner will not acknowledge their own jealousy.

If you want to have your own question answered in a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Patreon community!

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460 - Multiamory Presents: Navigating Jealousy in Non-Monogamy (Multiamory’s Interview on Better in Bed with Sara Sense)

Today's episode is an interview we did with Sara Sense of the Better in Bed podcast about jealousy and navigating it in the context of relationships and non-monogamy.

Sara Tang is a certified sexologist and coach based in Hong Kong. She believes that sex is a skill and everyone can learn how to get better in bed. She is most passionate about helping people who had a limited sex education or culturally conservative upbringing feel more connected and confident with their sexuality.

She started her platform Sarasense to provide tools and resources for people to get better educated about all aspects of sex and sexuality. Her podcast Better in Bed aims to normalize the conversations we have around sex, and reaches global audiences in over 88 countries. It was recently featured as one of the Best Sex Podcasts in Esquire and The Guardian. Find her on Instagram and Facebook @hellosarasense and check out her online course here.

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459 - Non-Monogamy in the Workplace Part 2

For our second part of our non-monogamy in the workplace series, we're talking about how to actually go about opening up at work, what kinds of changes your organization can do to make the most impact the fastest, and why companies should care about being accepting and open. To tackle these topics, we're sharing some excerpts from an interview with Dr. Lily Lamboy from the OPEN Workplaces Initiative.


Dr. Lily Lamboy is a social impact executive, educator, and researcher who currently serves as the Director of the Open Workplaces Initiative at the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy and the Co-Founder of the Modern Family Institute. She holds a PhD in Political Science from Stanford University, where she also served as a Lecturer in both the Rhetoric and Feminist, Gender & Sexuality Studies programs.

Dr. Lamboy previously led the Diversity, Equity & Inclusion functions at both Stripe and Blue Shield of California, scaling both internal-facing employee-focused strategies and external-facing health equity, social justice, and economic initiatives. Find information about the organizations Dr. Lamboy is a part of at www.modernfamilyinstitute.org and www.open-love.org.

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457 - Creating Lasting Sexual Connections with Emily Nagoski

Today we're welcoming back Emily Nagoski to talk about her newest book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections.

Emily is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Her next book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections will be out in January 2024.

Emily earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist.

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456 - F The Fairytale with Damona Hoffman

Today we're welcoming back Damona Hoffman, the Resident Love Expert of The Drew Barrymore Show and OkCupid's Official Dating Coach. Damona is the host of the long-running podcast Dates & Mates, which has just begun airing its 10th season. She is also an advice columnist for the LA Times and a writer on dating and relationships for the Washington Post. Damona can frequently be seen on Access Daily sharing the latest dating news. We're going to be discussing her upcoming book, F the Fairytale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story.

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455 - My Brain Understands, But My Body is Panicking (with Orit Krug)

We're excited to have a special episode this week! Today Dedeker is flying solo and having a fantastic conversation with board-certified dance/movement therapist Orit Krug.

Orit Krug is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist and Licensed Creative Arts Therapist. Orit helps individuals & couples expand their capacity for self-love and intimacy in relationships by processing past trauma stored in the body. Orit is polyamorous, partnered, and a parent to a toddler.

Dedeker and Orit discuss their experiences working with non-monogamous clients, dive into why there can be such a disconnect between your body and your brain when undertaking something new and scary like a non-traditional relationship, moving through sensations of jealousy, generating a sense of safe boundaries, and more!

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454 - When Someone You Love Wants to be Monogamous

Happy New Year to all! Our first episode of 2024 is diving into a discussion about shifting from non-monogamy to monogamy. We'll be talking about why someone might want to go back to monogamy, what the potential benefits or negative consequences of doing so are, and what you should be asking yourself if you're considering it for yourself. We'll also be discussing how to make the transition back to monogamy more ethical and respectful and giving some pointers to ease the process for everyone involved.

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453 - Your Regrets are Here to Help You

Today, we're talking about regret. Regret often gets a lot of negative feedback and a bad rap, often being called a useless negative emotion, but we're going to dive into some of the psychology research that indicates how regret can help us gain insight, motivation, and direction. We'll be discussing different types of regret, how regret can influence our relationship choices, and how to use regret to make positive changes in our lives.

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451 - Multiamory Presents: Defining Non-Romantic Relationships and More (Multiamory's Interview on The Wright Conversation)

Today we've got a very special episode: we're sharing an interview we did on Rachel Wright's show The Wright Conversations. In this episode we discuss going to therapy with family members, divorce, defining non-romantic relationships, inclusivity in relationship studies and much more! Rachel has a variety of interesting guests on her show every week, so be sure to check out other episodes of The Wright Conversations too!

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450 - Polywise: A Conversation with Jessica Fern and Dave Cooley

Today we're excited to share a conversation with Jessica Fern and David Cooley about their new book, Polywise.

Jessica Fern is a Psychotherapist, Coach, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. Jessica is the author of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonogamy, The Polysecure Workbook: Healing Your Attachment and Creating Security in Loving Relationships, and Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. Jessica works with individuals, couples, and people in multiple-partner relationships who no longer want to be limited by their reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past traumas.

David Cooley is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, and bilingual cultural broker. He is the creator of the Restorative Relationship Conversations model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. He specializes in working with non-monogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, incorporating a variety of modalities including trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative theory, and mindfulness-based techniques.

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449 - When Life Demands Get in the Way of Love

This week we're taking some time to explore what happens when life's demands and outside stressors take a toll on even solid relationships. Things like busy schedules, financial woes, health issues, or other obligations can absolutely limit the time and energy you have for a relationship. We’ll be discussing strategies for collaborating through life’s ups and downs, keeping communication strong, getting creative with quality time, and more in today's episode.

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448 - A Polyamory Devotional: Conversation with Evita Sawyers

Today we're rejoined by Evita Sawyers, who was last on the show back on episode 310. Evita is back to talk about her new book, "A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Nonmonogamous."  

Evita “Lavitaloca” Sawyers is a non-monogamy coach, speaker, and educator. Creator of “Today’s Polyamory Reminder”. Her approach is both frank yet empathetic and she is appreciated for her vulnerable openness about her own challenges in non-monogamy and helping others to grow.

Check out her book on Amazon or at Barnes and Noble!

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447 - De-Escalation to Re-Escalation: Listener Q&A With Amanda Katherine

Today's episode is another Q&A, this time with Amanda Katherine from the Live Your F*ck Yes Life.

Amanda Katherine (she/they) — — is on a mission to help you face your fears, speak your truth and get you one step closer to living your f*ck yes life.

She has worked as a trauma informed coach, writer and facilitator since 2016 and as an artist, actor and storyteller for the better part of two decades. In 2018, they launched their podcast, Live Your F*ck Yes Life — the space to be for conscious conversations and candid shares around shit nobody really fcking talks about. In 2019, she shared her journey of navigating a preventative double mastectomy at the age of 27 in her self published book, I Chopped Off My Tits. And she’s spent the last few years facilitating and supporting queer folks and recovering people pleasers through her Live Your F*ck Yes Life events & workshops and 1:1 coaching around all things relationship anarchy, non monogamy, coming out later in life, demisexuality, grief and beyond.

Amanda is going to help us tackle some of our listener questions today. If you want your question answered on a future Q&A episode, consider joining our Patreon subscribers!

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446 - Multiamory Presents: Navigating Abuse as a Non-Monogamous Person (Dedeker's Interview on Initiated Survivor)

Today we have a special episode highlighting an interview Dedeker did on the podcast Initiated Survivor, hosted by Kelsey Harper. Kelsey is a clinical psychologist and a survivor of sexual violence, and on her show she speaks directly with other survivors to hear their stories and offer practical skills for reclaiming their lives. Dedeker shares her experience with intimate partner violence within a non-monogamous context, since there are very few (if any) resources for survivors of violence that center queer people or non-monogamous people.


If you enjoyed this episode, go check out the rest of Initiated Survivor!

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445 - Yes, Some People Need Drama

Today we're diving deep into the world of drama! Have you ever met someone who just seems to thrive on it? Or maybe you've seen a bit of that drama-lover in yourself? We're going to be talking about why some of us need drama in our lives (there's science behind it!), and discussing some of the behaviors and whys behind a need for drama.

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444 - Assert Yourself Without Being an Asshole

Today we're talking about the five different communication styles in order to help us identify some of the healthy and unhealthy ways we might be expressing ourselves. If we can learn to assert ourselves in a healthy, respectful way, it can improve the quality of our relationships, along with overall wellbeing and happiness. We'll go over some tools and techniques we can use to start improving our quality of communication.

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